Telling my son about my cancer was the hardest conversations I’ve ever had: Sonali Bendre

In this candid and deeply moving conversation, Sonali Bendre opens up about her unexpected journey through cancer, a diagnosis that came as a shock despite her commitment to a healthy lifestyle. From the initial disbelief to navigating treatment, Sonali shares how she confronted one of life’s toughest challenges with resilience, positivity, and unwavering support from her loved ones. She discusses the importance of knowledge, proactivity, and holistic care in her healing process, offering a glimpse into the physical, mental, and emotional battles she faced. Through her story, Sonali inspires hope, demonstrating how strength, determination, and a supportive network can light the way even in the darkest times. Excerpts:
How did you handle the initial shock of being diagnosed with cancer? Did you ever ask, “Why me?”
It all happened so fast. I’d been feeling unwell for a while and finally got checked out. After a few tests, I was sitting in front of the doctor hearing the word “cancer.” I was in shock, unsure how to process it. My husband, Goldie, immediately sprang into action, and within two days, we were on a plane to New York for treatment at Memorial Sloan Kettering (MSK).

Instead of asking “Why me?”, my thoughts were more like, “How could this happen to me?” I’ve always lived a healthy lifestyle—eating well, exercising, avoiding vices—so it felt unreal. But I soon realized that focusing on those questions wasn’t helpful. Instead, I shifted my mindset. I recognized my strength and the incredible support system around me. I was fortunate to have the best healthcare and loved ones by my side.

I stopped dwelling on the things I couldn’t control and focused on healing. It wasn’t easy, but with time, I found peace in knowing I had the resources and support to move forward.
Did you seek to obtain a better understanding of your diagnosis? Did obtaining a better understanding help you navigate your cancer journey?
Knowledge is definitely key when it comes to navigating something as life-changing as a cancer diagnosis. From the moment I heard the words “cancer,” I knew I had to fully understand what I was dealing with. I didn’t want to just sit back and let things happen to me; I wanted to be as informed as possible about my diagnosis, my treatment options, and what the journey ahead might look like.

The team at MSK was incredible in taking the time to explain everything to me in detail. They were patient, thorough, and really made sure I understood not just what was happening, but why certain steps were being taken. I made it a point to ask a lot of questions and do my own research as well. I wanted to know the science behind the treatment, the potential side effects, and most importantly, how I could take control of my health during this process.
Having that understanding made a world of difference. It wasn’t just about feeling more prepared for the treatments—I also felt empowered. I was able to make informed decisions about my care, which helped me feel more in control of a situation that often feels incredibly overwhelming. Cancer is unpredictable, but knowledge allowed me to navigate it with a clearer mind and a stronger sense of confidence. It gave me the peace of mind I needed to face the challenges ahead with less fear and more focus.
Were you proactive and part of the decision-making process?
Absolutely. Goldie and I made sure to be involved in every part of the decision-making process. From the start, we didn’t want to just sit back and let things happen—we wanted to understand all the options available to me. We worked closely with my doctors, asking questions, getting second opinions, and making sure we fully understood each treatment option.
But it wasn’t just about the medical side of things. We took the time to research the latest treatments and also looked beyond just the physical aspect of the disease. Nutrition and overall wellness became a huge focus for us. Everyone gets so focused on the treatments themselves, but I believe the mental and emotional aspects of cancer are just as important. Staying mentally strong and maintaining a positive mindset is half the battle in my opinion, so we made sure to take care of that part too. Being proactive in every aspect of my care, both physical and mental, really helped me feel more in control of the journey.
Tell us about your doctors and support group?
My medical team was absolutely amazing. Not only were they incredibly knowledgeable, but they also showed deep compassion and empathy throughout the entire process. They took the time to explain every step of my treatment, making sure I felt informed and confident about the decisions being made. I felt truly supported by them, which made such a big difference in navigating this journey.
As for my support group, I couldn’t have asked for a better one. Goldie, my son Ranveer, and the entire family were my rock. They were there for me every step of the way, offering love, encouragement, and unwavering support. My sister Rupa, in particular, was a huge source of strength. She dropped everything to be with me in New York during my treatment. The love and care she showed me meant the world. And it wasn’t just immediate family—my friends and extended family made sure I was never alone. There was always someone visiting, calling, or checking in on me, which helped keep my spirits high.
I also have to acknowledge the stress and pressure that my loved ones went through. Dealing with this from across two continents was no small feat. It was hard for them, and I’m so grateful for everything they sacrificed to be there for me. But we did it together. We all believed in the same goal—to get through this, and we fought for it as a family. That collective strength made all the difference.

How did you explain it to your child?
Ranveer was on a school trip in Switzerland when I received my diagnosis and had to leave for New York. Instead of sending him home with excuses, Goldie and I decided it was best to tell him the full truth. He was 13 at the time, and we’ve always believed in being honest with him. I wanted to make sure he heard it directly from us, not from someone else or from school, because news travels quickly, especially when you’re in the public eye.
Explaining my diagnosis to him was one of the hardest conversations I’ve ever had. I wanted to be truthful, but also to reassure him that everything would be okay. I explained it in a way he could understand and made sure to be there for him, answering any questions he had. I was surprised by how maturely he took the news. In many ways, he became my source of strength and positivity throughout this journey. His support was something I truly didn’t expect, but it helped carry me through.

Did you follow any specific diet or exercise regimen?
Yes, I did. I worked with a nutritionist to create a personalized diet plan that helped me stay strong and healthy during treatment. Nutrition played a huge role in how I felt, and having a clear plan gave me the energy I needed to power through.
I also made sure to continue exercising, but I kept it moderate—just enough to stay active without overdoing it. Staying active, even in small ways, helped me maintain some normalcy.

Another great source of positivity was my online Book Club, Sonali’s Book Club. I kept reading during treatment, and the members of my book club were incredibly supportive. They were like rays of sunshine, keeping me motivated and helping me through some tough days.
In addition to my medical team, I also opted to bring a naturopath on board. This was a real game changer for me. Having a holistic approach to my care, alongside the medical treatments, made a big difference in how I felt mentally and physically.

How are you doing today, 3 years removed from your cancer treatment?
I’m doing great, thank you for asking! It’s been quite a journey, and while there have been ups and downs, I’m incredibly grateful for every single day. Going through cancer has taught me to truly appreciate the little things in life and to never take my health for granted.
When I look back now, I see both strength and moments of weakness, but what stands out the most is my determination not to let cancer define my life moving forward. I’ve come to realize that we have the power to create the life we want, and the journey is what we make of it.
The follow-up care at MSK has been exceptional as well. It’s been thorough and reassuring not just for me, but for my family too. Having that continued support has been vital in maintaining my peace of mind.

What advice would you share with patients who have been diagnosed with cancer?
My advice to anyone diagnosed with cancer would be to stay positive, stay informed, and stay proactive. It’s so important to ask questions and seek second opinions when you need them. Be your own advocate—you know your body best. Surround yourself with loved ones who can support you, and don’t hesitate to lean on them when things get tough.
Above all, never give up hope. There will be difficult days, but holding on to hope can make all the difference in how you navigate this journey. Trust in your strength, and remember that you’re not alone. You have the power to take charge of your own path.